Drugs: Underestimated the side effects of cold-turkey sertraline somewhat; Thursday felt like my brain was being pulled out through my eyes... much better now though, only a choir of tinnitus remains...
Tech Wankery: Had a geeky creative couple of days: tutoring Bee's Dad on PSP modding Bee's Wii to do lots of cool stuff (that Nintendo should've really included in the first place), fixing the guitar hero world tour drum kit (for the nth time) and fashioning a system to play music from my phone through my amp via bluetooth from hacking apart an old headset. Quality was horrible though and only mono, and I really need to invest in a decent soldering pen especially if I am to follow through my plans of Wiimote geekery >:)
Oh I need to make videos of my last 2 projects: The real-life guitar hero drumkit and The homemade racing game clutch + force feedback gearstickery so watch this space kids, you'll be impressed even if at this point you don't give a flying toss.
Social stuff: One thing that's bugged me since the start of uni is my lack of close friends in Falmouth, and the abundance of superficial lacklustre friendships that I could really take or leave.
If I had to put my finger on one thing that was responsible for exacerbating my depression over the last couple of years I would land my grubby mitts firmly on the 'friendship' category... Because no-one here really compares to any of the old Barnstaple crew, but I didn't realise that at the time, woods and trees obfuscating each other and so forth.
All my head knew was: "I used to have lots of friends, now I don't have any. Wow I must be a total cunt." And this annoys me because I blamed myself for something that I couldn't control.
Anyway, since Bee came on the scene I've slowly started to realise that it's not me, I just don't like my 'friends' here as much as I thought I did, and feeling is obviously mutual but in the process of this convoluted self-deception worthier friends have been neglected.
Apologies for the lack of posting, I do an awful lot of lurking though so hopefully you can all feel my presence as my leering eyes softly caress your seductively constructed word-meat.
Today I decided to break it off with Sertraline, it was good for a while but it turns out we now want different things.
From the off (about an hour after first dose) it gave me a sensation I could only describe as being hit in the face by a large, tinnitus singing, grinning fish, which is great if you like that sort of thing (and I do). The last couple of weeks however I've been lethargic, socially isolated and grumpy without any urge to partake in anything musical... that's right kids, not even guitar hero...
So it turns out the half-life is merely a day which is a pretty harsh taper but I'm on the minimum (50mg) dosage anyway so short of splitting pills in half it's cold turkey time baby!
Therefore I'm experiencing the frustrating withdrawal symptoms of being fiendishly awake when my eyes are closed and pathetically drowsy when they are open. Oh and my brain feels like it's misfiring like a vindaloo fuelled Ford Cortina. C'est la vie.
It's not all bad though, I haven't had any alcohol for 2-3 weeks and no (significant amount of) caffeine in almost as long. I've also been brushing the cobwebs off my bike (and my legs) at 6:30 every morning, an endeaver that has been going well until now, or more to the point 3 hours into the future...
Extra gadget-tastic man-incentive was provided courtesy of my N95 and Nokia Sports Tracker, my latest route / time here (pretty self explanatory)
Oh and those lovely folks at the bank have frozen all my accounts for the second time after a rather ruthless refusal to cut me some slack until October. As my housemate Jaye would say, I'll be taking my money to the "bank of mattress" from now on.
Anyway, I'll probably be off now to inventively kill some sims now until their soporific screams coax me to sleep.
*Brushes cobwebs from LJ* wow... I remember this thing, the years of hardcore work-dodging that went into creating this vague skeleton of a self-portrait, all left to ruin in the cold cold shadow of Facebook.
Well it's still no different... I'm still dodging work, there's just less to dodge and more time in which to dodge it...
...and I guess I consider livejournal cool again now that the name is ironic.
So this weekend was my housemates Birthday TopGun party... which, I think it's fair to say, was an explosive train wreck. I was told to get out of my own house by someone I've never met, me and Mikey S kicked out 8 or so people, in the process I ended up in fistycuffs with one whilst Mikey got threatened with a kettle (I think if he didn't back off they were going to make him a shit cup of tea and force him to drink it. Cads.) and to top it all off I had a rock thrown through my window (yes it was closed) and my precious, precious Budweiser pint glass smashed into my room....
Definitely mostly annoyed about the pint glass I'm going to have to steal again.
But Christ Med, how many goddamn parties did we have without incidents like that? Then again I suppose none of our guests were complete chav cunts. RIP Partypad. *sniff*
I've come to the conclusion that the one thing I have now more than I probably ever will is free time, however the one thing I have now less than I probably ever will is money (or sex... err.) so in my own self-serving logic I've decided to visit Oz next Summer and galavant around the country around the Xmas holidays with my sexual student-rail-card. Tickets booked for London on the 10th... FUCK YEAH!
So y'know how the sound of clanking dishes is the most wall-defying, penetrative sound known to man [save for Whitney Housten's "I will always love you" glorious lyrical styling], I have to question the motivation of someone who decides to partake in such an activity at 1:15 in the morning... yes, quite a strange time for an LJ update, but in such times of insomnia it was either this, ripping the dish-clanking arms from my flatmate's torso [love you Tim], or masturbating myself into a frenzy whilst singing 'lady in red'. I think boys and girls you will agree that I made the correct decision.
On a separate note, I believe the term [which never ceases to amaze me how true it seems] 'no good deed goes unpunished' is an abbreviation of 'no good deed goes unpunished, especially from women (even the ones whom you do not have the inclination to sleep with)'. It's not quite as catchy, but more accurate I think.
I should be so tired in the morning that I vomit in my bosses' / co-workers face.
I think karaoke would be much better if the Romans invented it. When the singer sucks then a backstage starving lion would be unleashed, and the wailing ear-bandit would be mauled and devoured in front of the audience to the soothing vocal-less soundtrack of the remaining song.
After the Friday Stabbage I officially live in da 'hood, there's flowers by the library now, and I find it strange how people react when someone of questionable morality dies, or indeed, murdered. It reminds me of my all time favourite piece of dialogue from Collateral:
Vincent: Max, six billion people on the planet, you're getting bent out of shape cause of one fat guy. Max: Well, who was he? Vincent: What do you care? Have you ever heard of Rwanda? Max: Yes, I know Rwanda. Vincent: Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody's killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max? Max: What? Vincent: Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit. Max: Man, I don't know any Rwandans. Vincent: You don't know the guy in the trunk, either.
Saturday was cool, when we finally managed to get out of the house me, madrob6 and _hollywould_ went to Woolacombe for an FHM stylee photoshoot, impressed with the results, will post when I've finished processing them.
Cheers to Rob and his awesome b-b-bbq yesterday at Greysands [see what I did there?] Had a bit of a surf there at high tide which was all well and good before me and Tim realised the tide was going out and we were getting sucked out with it... fortunately we managed to find the occassional raised rock to push ourselves to shore and catch a few waves inwards, I sure didn't fancy getting picked up from Westward Ho! or worse... Saunton :\
And somehow I busted up my foot in the process... that better be fixed by Thursday: I really want to go wall-climbing again! Give me a shout / prod if anyone else is up for going, it's cheap and much more fun than the gym!
And last but not least, happy birfday to Rob and Chris for yesterday, and Paiz for today! [Anyone I've left out?] Hope to see lots of you for a civilized drink or 50 later! I shall also attempt to shake myself out of this social-retardedness I seem to have acquired...
Until next time kids...
PS. Is it me or does the new Muse album suck considerable donkey-willy?
fine
lazy
Misanthropic
calm
Hungover (still)
restless
good
drunk / WTF is that noise!?!?!
bleh
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face9's journal
